BACK  by popular demand... Roaster Super Hero Returns Since this is a sequel read BOTH of the below first Tadwell’s Birthday and Roaster Super Hero

 Thanksgiving at Ma and Pa’s (Again) Roaster Super Hero Re-Appears Ma and Pa were recounting last Thanksgiving when they had forgotten to defrost the turkey. They remembered that if it hadn’t been for Roaster Super Hero they would not have had a turkey to offer their guests.  So in an effort to make completely sure that this Thanksgiving was going to go smoothly they put the turkey in the refrigerator to thaw on Monday morning.  They weren’t going to get caught in a bind again!!  No-sir-eee!  They were on top of things this year! Ma had all the fixins’…. Beans, yams, bread for stuffing, gravy, onions, spices, two baking potatoes, and a can of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee spaghetti.  Everything was ready and just waiting to be put together.  On Thanksgiving Eve she inventoried all of it… Everything was in place, everything was going right, everything was going to be just peachy. The phone rang at 2030 hours (that’s 8:30 pm for any civilians).    Ma skipped to the phone in her tidy apron, whistling some sort of tune that was stuck in her head at the time…  “Hello?” she asked.  Pa was sitting at the kitchen table, drinking his hot cocoa, so he could hear only one side of the conversation; it went something like…  “No, I won’t”…. “No, I can’t”….. “That isn’t fair” …. “Isn’t there anyone else?”…. “OK, but I’ve got to be home at 1700” (that’s 5:00 pm for any landlubbers).  She slammed the phone down. Pa tried to be conciliatory, “From the tone of your voice I’d imagine that was your boss, and from what I heard, I’d imagine that he wants you to work Thanksgiving, and I’d imagine that he said something that convinced you to do it.”  Ma gave Pa a look that could pickle an onion, and stomped off to the kitchen to look again at the perfect display of the perfect ingredients for the perfect Thanksgiving.  The only thing missing was going to be herself…. She had to work!  Well, when everyone got back next week, Shirley was going to get a earful!  She has nerve calling in sick when SHE was supposed to work Thanksgiving, and now I get stuck with it.  “I’ll fix her!” she shouted, not ever realizing that she was yelling out loud. Pa came into the kitchen and put his arm on her shoulder…. “I can help, I can cook all this..” he said.  Ma looked at Pa with a look which said “I appreciate the offer, but it doesn’t help the situation”, BUT it did give Ma the beginning of an idea…     “ I don’t have to be at work ‘till 0900 (that’s 9:00 am for those who haven’t piloted an F-16), and I could get up early and do all the prep work.  But..” and turning towards Pa... “But you’d have to take the turkey out of the refrigerator and put it in the oven”.  Pa was quick to take advantage of the offer.  That would mean he wouldn’t have to cook anything, since he didn’t know how anyway, and besides, what could be so hard about putting the bird in the oven?  Pa said, “OK, that sounds like a plan”.   Pa, was especially good at sleeping, so 0600 (6:00am for those who never were in Greenwich, England) came awfully early for him.  Ma had already gotten up and was working in the kitchen; the bird was stuffed with stuffing and had been put in the roasting bag.  She put the bag in the pan and shoved it into the refrigerator.  She was just putting the finishing touches on the salad when Pa stumbled into the room.   “Pa, all you gotta do is set the oven for 350 degrees and put the turkey in the oven at 1445 hours( 2.45pm for those who never worked a NORAD position).  “I’ll be back in time to take the turkey out and bake the potatoes.  Don’t do anything else… I’ve got it all under control” she said.  “You think you can handle that? Pa looked a little hurt and said “Piece of cake!!  I could do this with my eyes shut.  By the way have you seen my glasses?” At 1445 (2:45 pm for those who never lived in Thailand) hours Ma called Pa from work..”Is the bird in the oven?”  Pa responded, “Yup, just got ol’ Tom installed.” At 5:15pm ( 1715 for those who for some reason keep 24 hour time), when Ma got home the first thing she did was to grab the baking potatoes to put them in the oven and to check on the turkey.  She opened the oven door…. She screamed. “Pa!!!!   Pa!!!!  What have you done!!!!” To make a long story short, it seems that Pa, who still hadn’t found his glasses, had set the oven temperature to 35 degrees as opposed to 350 degrees because he couldn’t see the dial without his glasses. This presented a HUGE problem since company was coming over for Thanksgiving dinner in an hour and a half. Ma was just standing there looking at the turkey, almost as if she were wishing she had Superman Vision and could cook it by just staring.  That wasn’t working for her. Tadwell came by and when he found what the problem was he offered to lend Ma his blowtorch.  Ma almost accepted, but she looked out the window and across the field and saw the still slightly smoldering remains of Tadwell’s barn.  There was that fire, she recalled, and that birthday cake.  She could still remember the lights, sirens, and seeing Forester running across the field like his pants were on fire. As a point of fact, Forester’s pants were on fire, which is why he was heading for the pond.  After considering she said “No, thank you” to Tadwell. Pa had an idea – microwave the turkey.  That almost sounded OK until they realized the turkey was too large to fit in the microwave.  Pa suggested they remove the door from the microwave and hold it partially in and rotate the part of the turkey that would fit into the microwave.  Ma looked at Pa with a look that said: “if you want to help, stop helping”. “Hello again” came a deep, resonant, yet familiar voice from the corner.  “Looks like y’all have problems again this year”.  It was Roaster Super Hero, the ONLY super hero with gravy and stuffing stains on his cape. Ma, just collapsed into a kitchen chair, stared at the floor and mumbled something.  One couldn’t hear exactly what it was, but the name Shirley was the only thing that came out intelligibly.  Roaster Super Hero didn’t say any more.  He reached for his utility belt.  Note that ALL Super Heroes have utility belts with various things installed.  Roaster Super Hero’s belt was no exception…. It was high tech and borderline magical.  He pulled out an expandable WMOD (Wireless Magical Oven Device).  He flipped it open and it unfolded into a full size magical oven – just like in a Transformer’s movie. Roaster Hero adjusted the temperature to the FTCFS position (“Full Turkey Cook in Fifteen Seconds”) and shoved the turkey inside.  Fifteen seconds later the turkey was done.  He put the baking potatoes in the oven and set the temperature to the FPCSS position (“Full Potatoes Cook in Six Seconds”).  Six seconds later both the turkey and potatoes were done.  Roaster Hero pressed the “COLLAPSE” button on the oven.  It folded back into a wallet sized packet that he stowed back on his utility belt. Roaster Super Hero looked at Ma and her Geezer and said “So, I suppose I’ll see you again next year…..” and he disappeared. Pa wiped his brow, and said, “Wow, that was close” and opened the refrigerator to get a glass of milk.  He laughed and said: “ Ma, look, I found my glasses, they were in the refrigerator all the time.” Moral of the story….. If you don’t have your glasses on when you put the turkey in the oven your goose is cooked!